December 2009
hear to listen.
I’m lucky to be alive. I guess.
How much can you know about yoursef if you’ve never been in a fight?
crashbox.
Raymond K. Hessel, what did you want to be?
Aaaaaaand I didn’t even pay for parking! DOUBLE WIN!
I didn’t have a ticket. Show was sold out. Scalped tickets for 10 bucks cheaper than what they’re worth. I win!
I love smoking pot. Seriously.
99 problems, but a bitch ain’t one.
I wanna write a movie where some old guy tells his subordinates to “go bust some heads.”
And have you seen The Jetsons? George had a car that folded up into a frickin briefcase,and were pretty sure that show took place in 1992.
The assembly we’ll be seeing today is called “I’m in charge of my life.”
My dad used to make me shovel the gravel just to be a dick.
It goes from 0-125mph in a quarter of an inch.
She’s a little bit older than a cougar, she’s a sabertooth tiger.
she looks like she ate one of those fitness balls.
Just cause I’m handsome and put together doesn’t mean I’m not a weirdo.
Fuck it dude, let’s go bowling.
Holland Tonnel.
Everyone should be unsuccessful so successfully..
It’s a dildo! It’s dildo! It’s a dildo made out of Oreos!
Superbad chicks givin me McLovin.
I have a mouse in my house. Again. Efffff. I just hope I don’t manage to kill a bird again in the process of getting rid of it.
If at first you don’t succeed, try 2nd base.
I don’t roll on the SABBATH!
I feel like the house could be on fire right now, and I still wouldn’t want to get out of this bed.
So maybe, you’re gonna be the one that saves me.
“No more Madea. It’s like”
– “No more Madea. It’s like a black Ernest.”
bewarewolfs!
We should be trying to have new expierences every day, not just reliving our old ones.